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A Lesson In Gaslighting

By: Kenrick Cleveland..

There's a psychological technique called gaslighting which is incredibly potent especially in persuasive situations.

I was flipping through the channels a few nights ago and I stopped on an old episode of M*A*S*H. It was the episode where BJ is bored and in an attempt to entertain himself he decides to have a little fun at Winchester's expense.

BJ takes a pair of Winchester's pants and in their place replaces them with a pair two sizes too large. When Winchester eventually puts the pants on, BJ asks if Winchester is okay. He mentions that he's noticed him looking a little under the weather and suggests that he maybe has a virus because he's looking too thin.

A few scenes later BJ replaces the pants with a much smaller pair and when Winchester tries them on, BJ again casually "notices" how much weight Winchester has gained, which sends the vain Winchester into a dieting frenzy.

Having observed this all, Hawkeye asks BJ, "What's next?"

"Tomorrow he gets taller," BJ responds.

This is an example of gaslighting as a harmless prank, but the technique has far more nefarious potential and conversely when used ethically, some positive potential as well.

It's important to me that as you read this, you understand that the persuasion techniques I teach must be used with integrity. I've learned the hard way that when they are employed for unethical purposes, there's the very real potential for a world of hurt for all involved.

From the 1944 film Gaslight the term "gaslighting" acquired the meaning of ruthlessly manipulating an individual into believing something other than the truth.

In 'Gaslighting' the husband tries to convince his wife that she's insane so that she'll have to be institutionalized, thus getting her out of his way. His subtle manipulations cause her to doubt her own grasp on reality.

Using gaslighting in a way that is not unethical could include understanding how your affluent prospect interprets their own reality.

The five main strategies of gaslighting are as follows:

The first is repetitive questioning and this is used to plant the seed of doubt in a person.

If you watch game shows, you'll notice that they use this to raise the level of tension and oftentimes this results in the contestant doubting their decision. "Are you sure? Is this really your final answer?"

With only a word, this can be accomplished. "Really?" The body language used can be a cock of the head and a raised eyebrow. This is all it takes to install in the recipient that maybe they should be in doubt.

With this strategy, it is most effective to come from a non-threatening or non-challenging position. After all, you only have their best interest at heart, so go ahead and make them aware of it.

The second strategy is to point out things that simply aren't there.

This is useful in undermining their feeling of reality. It can also be used in pointing out assets and qualities in a person who has no idea that they have these assets and qualities (whether or not they actually do).

Appealing to someone's sense of ego and vanity is one way to use this. Think of former bosses or clients or prospects or authority figures, whose egos needed massaging. This is a form of gaslighting.

If the ego massage is completely without merit and the compliments are baseless, then you'll most likely be discovered. Use subtlety with tiny portions of reality.

Strategy number three is primarily for the use of experts--someone who has specialized knowledge or divine access to information which you haven't the 'connections' to learn. . .i.e. think therapist, minister, psychics. They have very esoteric, mysterious or specialized knowledge that will give you the answer you seek. Rather, the answer that they wish for you to believe you seek.

This will cause lowered defenses and a more trusting feeling from the client.

The fourth strategy is to reveal the secret thoughts of others.

Another term for this: gossip. But it's a specialized gossip, maneuvering the person in an attempt to give them 'insight' or a heads up about what others are saying and thereby establishing you as the one who cares enough to know the truth in driving a wedge between them and the others you name.

You can use this positively to spread compliments about that person that were told in confidence. Using encouragement and praise instead of derision and destruction.

The final strategy is using the power of many over the small, insignificant power of the one.

This is used by kids in the schoolyard, politicians, religious leaders, in the media, military and educational system. It's basically an adult version 'ganging up'.

Orwell called it 'group think' and as the corporations gain more and more control over the distribution of information, it becomes harder and harder to find accurate information, and even harder to stand away from the crowd, especially when you're right.

It's powerful to have 'the many' on your side, and very difficult to maintain your position when you're up against the many.

Gaslighting isn't nice. It's designed to trick people into self-doubt. And yet, there are positive ways it can be used.

Article Source: http://www.articlesinsight.com

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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